The Future of the Pornoscanners?

Alec Weisman, Editor-in-Chief

Once again public attention turns to focus on a menace to their liberties, our own government. Out of fear of the Underwear Bomber, explosive UPS packages on an airplane, and angry Anti-IRS pilots the US government decided that they are going to double down on intrusive security measures. Sadly, rather than get smart on terror like the Israeli’s (who haven’t had a terror attack on an airplane since 1968), the US government wants to limit YOUR freedoms and YOUR liberty. Although Israel engages in a profiling system whereby they ask a series of questions to passengers to try to find out who is more likely than others to try to hijack a plane or commit a terrorist attack or just go about their normal business, our government wants to give you two choices… Either strip naked or get fondled by TSA agents.

I flew on a plane two weeks ago out of San Diego Airport, and luckily I wasn’t hassled by the TSA. However, within the last week, the new full-body scanners, now commonly known as the “porno-scanners,” were added to the security system. John Tyner, a man from Oceanside, California has already been hassled by the Department of Transportation Molestation officials, and refused to allow them to force him through both a full body scanner and a intensive pat-down (aka cavity search). He later wrote that “Every attempt to blow up a plane since 9/11 has been stopped by passengers after the government failed to provide protection for them…. All I did was draw attention to this.” Sadly, however, the US government & the TSA don’t particularly care about messy details such as these when they challenge the mere existence of this agency.

It’s funny how it is the government which is well on its way to be “rapin errbody out here. You don’t have to come and confess, we’re lookin for you, we gon find you… we gon find you.” In fact, a TSA Administrator John Pistole says boycotts of the machines [are] “irresponsible,” and passengers who refuse to complete screening would be prevented from boarding their flights, and could face a fine as high as $11,000, though those fines have up to now never been imposed.

November 24th will be National Opt-Out Day in which everyone who flies is urged to “opt-out of the naked body scanner” and choose the “enhanced” pat down in order to experience how the TSA treats law-abiding citizens.

I urge everyone to tell the TSA how you feel about their assault on your liberty. You can let them know your disgust at their “Office of Civil Rights and Liberties” link, and while you’re at it, email your Congressperson and Senator, and express your anger at these intrusive TSA regulations.

Once the hubbub dies down, I figure that new uses for these pornoscanners are gonna be just around the corner. Even some literal uses of these scanners will probably be profitable.

*Photo approved by Pedobear & the US Department of Molestation… I mean, Transportation.

*** UPDATE 11/16/10 @ 2 PM.
TSA also now reaching down your pants if you wear sweats, baggy pants or shorts onto flights.

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